So, the truth is, I realize, I had set the bar so high in what I was looking for, that at some point, maybe even just in the last two years, I began to think, what I was looking for, well, she didn’t exist. I know people can be unrealistic, and I thought I was being unrealistic, and maybe I am still. No relationship is going to be absolutely perfect, even if the chemistry tries to convince me it will be. I KNOW it won’t, I KNOW there’s going to be good times and bad times. I KNOW if anything, I AM going to make some mistakes. That is part of life, that is part of the journey.

That “fascinating new friend” I was obsessing over, I realize there’s no way she could have come close to what I really wanted, she’s a flirt and maybe I read it wrong, or she was playing games with me. Truth is, it probably wouldn’t have worked out anyway, just like the rest of them.  I don’t feel like any of them really understood me.  There was one I think, who came very close, and I am still friends with her today. She’s the only one, I think where there really was any chemistry, and it wasn’t forced, it didn’t happen because I felt desperate,  or just wanted companionship.

Although, truth is, I don’t regret it, not any of it, they all helped me set the bar as high as I did, they all helped me see, that what I REALLY wanted was, as some would say a “rare bird” somebody very special, somebody very understanding.   Somebody who I had convinced myself didn’t exist, just because of how very rare she is.

First to explain, anyone reading this, probably knows I am a geek, I work with computers and electronics all the time. I’m the guy in my family to hook up the DVD player, or whatever. I’m that guy. I understand this stuff like it’s second nature, like it’s just part of me. I have my mojo, I have the ability to walk up to a machine, and sometimes, it actually appears, by my mere presence it just works.

There’s also something else, see, a couple of years ago, I was diagnosed as having Asperger’s Syndrome, but I didn’t understand what that was, and I didn’t accept it and honestly I kind of refused to believe it. Asperger’s is considered to be on the autistic spectrum. My mom always thought maybe I did have some autistic tendencies, turns out she was right.

So you can imagine, finding a female geek, who also has an understanding of Asperger’s, possibly being an aspie herself, is almost next to impossible.  Well, I say “next to impossible” because it is in fact, NOT impossible, see, there is this one, that actually as it turns out, quite literally has been crossing my path without either of us knowing, for at least a few years.  Shoot, I probably have passed by her on the street, or even saw her on the beach the few times I went walking early with my mom.  She helped me understand, she put the mirror in front of me, and said, look, this is who you are and you’re not alone.

She’s my friend, she’s one of my best friends, because she can understand me like no one else ever could, she accepts me completely, and does not judge me.  We’ve spent a good bit of time together, just getting to know each other better, and in getting to know her, I’ve gotten to know me. Thank you, thank you for being part of my life, thank you for being my friend.

I was listening to your “Christmas here’s your sign song” again, just randomly going through stuff on my iPod.  It’s funny you call it that, when on the CD it is labeled “Here’s your Sign Christmas”.

Anyway, your “Midnight Mass” bit, Midnight Mass is sometimes a misnomer. The woman wasn’t entirely wrong in asking that question, some churches actually start before midnight, case in point. a church here in town for many years actually started it at 10:30. So to you Mr. Engvall, I say, heeeeeeeeere’s YOUR sign!

As far as that last thing I posted about, forget it, after the last time I saw her, and she was completely rude, when I went out of my way to drive her to Walmart, just forget it.

That was epic fail…or was it?

This time, trying to do the right thing, and not jump the gun. I lost a chance I had. FOR NOW. Time to be the loyal, good and true guy friend, really, just as I always am.

2012 a year for personal change too, this time, IT’S FOR REALZ!

To the three people that have read my blog for some time. (truth be told it’s probably more like zero) I have from time to time let lose a bit of personal stories, a window to my own life so to speak. As a bit of an update, for about a year or so I have been living in my own converted apartment, which is like a townhouse or a condo. A close friend has been living with me as well, he did move out for a few months for various reasons, but he is back again, as is my thing to do, I will nickname him Navy Boy, since like Army Boy/Former Army, he was military.  Navy Boy over the last couple of months, introduced me to a friend of his he met at a bar. Since she appears to like wearing my Jayne hat when she’s in my car, I will call her, Hat Girl.  Hat Girl, I find to be fascinating, and as they say, truth be told, I think I have a bit of a crush. Now those that know me, know it’s not THAT hard for me to wind up doing that, and usually such things either don’t go anywhere, or they end in failure, because I was motivated too much by the crush, and didn’t really realize the person I was crushing on wasn’t worth my time.  Yeah, I just had my 33rd birthday yesterday and I still have crushes.  I think everybody does, although they don’t admit it, I bet she does, but one of them probably is not me.  Some of my crushes just generally don’t see me that way, or I am not the type they look for, which in a lot of cases is actually a good thing, because it saves me from making a horrible mistake, and like I said, I have made a few.

This new friend, Hat Girl, I find fascinating, because she is kind, sweet and outgoing, and she appears to be an honest person too. A good friend to keep around really, if she’ll keep me around, with all the texting I did the last couple of days, and  my silliness, she would say that I am weird, and I called her different, though she didn’t get it, and asked my point, I often have trouble expressing myself, and so I fumbled and explained that I didn’t even know what my point is. Having had a discussion with a friend later, call him Gator Boy, I realize, that we are ALL weird in some way.  Hat Girl at the very least, likes me as a friend, and that is perfectly perfect because, really all I want is friends, friends before all else, and knowing of my bad decisions, maybe that’s the best thing for me.

I find her fascinating, and amazing (which I told her she’s amazing) because of what makes her, well, different. There are certainly some things about her that are familiar, and things that are not, we are all unique in our own way, but certain aspects of our personalities can be similar. We do have things in common, such as Weird Al, and things that are grape flavored.  Where as she likes horror movies, I am a sci-fi and fantasy nut. Now, the three do collide at times, so that’s cool, and I don’t necessarily hate horror films, although I generally do not chose to watch them, unless someone else makes that decision and I am just along for the ride.

I look forward to seeing where this goes, hope she’ll want to hang out with me again, we’ll see after my weird self  messed up, and possibly said way too much, although she sas “Ur cool babe”, I have been lied too about such things before. There is a point, where some things I say or do, I get carried away, she even caught me once when I said “shutup” and told me I needed “to be a little nicer” and she was correct.

If your app, does not send information in two or more directions, as in, it only downloads some information. Then it is NOT a sync app, it is an IMPORT app. , please learn the English language. Merely downloading some information from Facebook for a preexisting contact, or downloading a complete contact, this is called importing. The word sync is short for synchronize, which means to make two or more things match exactly.  That is not what most of the “sync” apps on the iTunes app store do.  Please do not use the word sync, unless that’s what it actually does, otherwise it is false advertising in your app name. Ok? It’s really THAT simple.

Talk about not user friendly.

ProGold i2, installer is a self extracting zip file, which extracts an MSI file, which installs a download app, which downloads an installer, and that part takes several hours, and all you wind up with, is basically, an MS Access database that can run without Access. If this install fails somehow,and it doesn’t work, to get it to try again, all traces of what it did install has to be removed first.

This is NOT user friendly by any means, and if a company does not have someone like me, they wind up having to deal with support, which over the last couple of months has been little to no help to us fixing a feed problem. We are happily going to something else instead.

Also, having a domain name, that you have to change every time you release a major revision to your product (their previous was ProGold XP) is also a bad idea, and a waste of money, because then you’re stuck, a new domain ever time, and in order not to lose people, keeping the old one every time.

I wish, Comcast phone and chat support people, would understand that refresh signals to the boxes at my condo complex take longer than most residential customers, and not jump to the conclusion that a technician needs to be sent out. I think a lot of the Comcast people I see at my complex are because of this. The refresh signals sometimes take 20-30 minutes longer than they expect, so if they send them, and nothing happens, that is why. I’ve had this happen many times, with my own box and my grandmother’s box. Either they need to understand this, or they need to do something to resolve this, for their own sake and the customers, so no one’s time is wasted.

Supposedly unlimited file storage…

300kb file size limit

excuse me?

So this weekend, I had it ALL working.

Then yesterday I discovered I had a problem, I could not dial out to C*NET.

I thought, it must have been a FreePBX module I installed.

Nope that didn’t fix it.

Oh well, reinstall time.

BAD idea, this made things much worse, because I didn’t even think of ONE little thing, see,  as I discovered someone told me after I ranted on the C*NET mailing list. CentOS has an issue with setting static domains with netconfig.  See I had a problem with that before, and fixed it, but didn’t realize what it was, or if what I did actually was what had fixed it.

I ranted and grumbled and wasted those guys time, when I should have know better.

and you know what the problem was? There was an outbound route that was getting in the way that I should have deleted anyway.

dork!

What’s going on there PhoneGnome? For more than 5 hours my device has not been connecting, and I can not get to my.phonegnome.com.

Data center problems? No status update on the blog?  That’s not good customer service!

Telling your users/customers nothing, is worse than giving bad news.