So, the truth is, I realize, I had set the bar so high in what I was looking for, that at some point, maybe even just in the last two years, I began to think, what I was looking for, well, she didn’t exist. I know people can be unrealistic, and I thought I was being unrealistic, and maybe I am still. No relationship is going to be absolutely perfect, even if the chemistry tries to convince me it will be. I KNOW it won’t, I KNOW there’s going to be good times and bad times. I KNOW if anything, I AM going to make some mistakes. That is part of life, that is part of the journey.

That “fascinating new friend” I was obsessing over, I realize there’s no way she could have come close to what I really wanted, she’s a flirt and maybe I read it wrong, or she was playing games with me. Truth is, it probably wouldn’t have worked out anyway, just like the rest of them.  I don’t feel like any of them really understood me.  There was one I think, who came very close, and I am still friends with her today. She’s the only one, I think where there really was any chemistry, and it wasn’t forced, it didn’t happen because I felt desperate,  or just wanted companionship.

Although, truth is, I don’t regret it, not any of it, they all helped me set the bar as high as I did, they all helped me see, that what I REALLY wanted was, as some would say a “rare bird” somebody very special, somebody very understanding.   Somebody who I had convinced myself didn’t exist, just because of how very rare she is.

First to explain, anyone reading this, probably knows I am a geek, I work with computers and electronics all the time. I’m the guy in my family to hook up the DVD player, or whatever. I’m that guy. I understand this stuff like it’s second nature, like it’s just part of me. I have my mojo, I have the ability to walk up to a machine, and sometimes, it actually appears, by my mere presence it just works.

There’s also something else, see, a couple of years ago, I was diagnosed as having Asperger’s Syndrome, but I didn’t understand what that was, and I didn’t accept it and honestly I kind of refused to believe it. Asperger’s is considered to be on the autistic spectrum. My mom always thought maybe I did have some autistic tendencies, turns out she was right.

So you can imagine, finding a female geek, who also has an understanding of Asperger’s, possibly being an aspie herself, is almost next to impossible.  Well, I say “next to impossible” because it is in fact, NOT impossible, see, there is this one, that actually as it turns out, quite literally has been crossing my path without either of us knowing, for at least a few years.  Shoot, I probably have passed by her on the street, or even saw her on the beach the few times I went walking early with my mom.  She helped me understand, she put the mirror in front of me, and said, look, this is who you are and you’re not alone.

She’s my friend, she’s one of my best friends, because she can understand me like no one else ever could, she accepts me completely, and does not judge me.  We’ve spent a good bit of time together, just getting to know each other better, and in getting to know her, I’ve gotten to know me. Thank you, thank you for being part of my life, thank you for being my friend.