That last post sounds kind of silly, and to be honest, now I am taking a little bit of a step back from Second Life and my media overload to take care of some things in the real world that really need to be dealt with.

I get mixed up in craziness so easily.

So, I’ve been given an opportunity, I’ve had this for a while, but somewhere in the back of my mind, a voice is telling me to make up my mind. You see, in Second Life I have an opportunity, for experience I’ve not exactly had before. See, I have the chance at a girlfriend in the virtual world. She’s willing to go with whatever I chose, see, but being the indecisive guy in the real world, and always afraid of missed chances, do I take this one?

I have other female friends, that I enjoy spending time with, one of them, who occasionally is still around, will always have a place in my heart. We spent a lot of time together, as good friends, until she found herself a boyfriend and I ran. The funny thing is, this one lives just over the state line, and I still have hopes we could meet someday, no expectations, just wanting to see a friend. This one I’ve even spoken to on the phone, yeah, and she’s not the only one.  One I met on IMVU from Texas I did the same, and another on Second Life offered, shocker huh, Mr shy guy that doesn’t like the phone. Then there’s the cheeky Aussie I met recently that likes to dance, she and the one I first spoke of (the one that gave me the option) crossed paths recently, it was all good, they both were willing to share.

I don’t know, see I don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings if I take this leap, even if it is ONLY SL and can’t lead to anything but friendship in the meatspace. She says it is entirely up to me, I am leaning in that direction, and there’s always a way out if neccessary, but I don’t know, knowing of recent events other people have dealt with, a broken heart, however virtually caused, is still a broken heart.

Then there’s the thing my mom brought up, are they really female? Well, to answer this question, I’ve spoken to two of them, and one wants to, but hasn’t gotten it to work yet., and they do not sound like fakers, if you know what  I mean.

Ultimately though, I still hope in my heart, for the special person in the real world, I know that, the one I have wished for probably isn’t real.

Ah, the choices, these moments in my life I am stuck….at a virtual, or real….crossroads.

Recently on New World Notes (a blog I’ve been following for a while)  Hamlet posted an article titled “For Virtual Worlds to Grow, Avatars Must Become More Like Halloween Costumes Where Faces Can Still Be Seen” phew, long title, the post can be found  here. It was not specifically about Second Life, but I will respond from that perspective.

To summarize, the post is about Halloween costumes, and the fact that some people who wear costumes that also cover their face don’t seem to get the same kind of responses or attention as people who do not have their faces covered. I understand this completely from personal experience, you see, I don’t like clowns, because their faces are covered in makeup, and their attitudes are fake, and I have an aversion to people who are fake, though, SL is warming me up to role playing, but that is another post for another day.

Besides clowns, I also have an issue with people in full costume, once I went to the grand opening of a Parisian store at a mall here that at the time was fairly new, for some reason there were people there, that had these really freaky and out of place costumes, like they were monsters, and some of them were even carrying their own monster heads, this had nothing at all to do with the store, and it majorly freaked me out, and I could not at all stay in the store that long, I had to leave, I begged to leave.

However, when it comes to virtual worlds like Second Life, I do not have that aversion, in fact, in some situations I am much more comfortable than in my everyday real life. You’d think maybe it’s because I wind up in virtual “places” where there is common ground, such as the wonderful club called Fire Escape.  I did consider that as I was thinking about how to word this post, but then it hit me, if that was the case, then I would not be shy in the same situations in real life, but I still am.

When having a discussion about this idea with a coworker, she said maybe it’s because there are still human representations of people in Second Life, I would go more along the lines of human-ish or humanoid, because a cute human-sized faerie with hair that reminds me of Sailor Moon, still isn’t human, even if the person behind the avatar is.

I’m not saying I am completely comfortable in Second Life, no, I still get shy, just ask that faerie Suki Paulino sometime, Giant Maelstrom has a little trouble expressing his feelings. Though I’d say I warm up a little faster maybe than in reality, maybe it’s because of that separation, which is an issue in real life, or maybe it is because I am sitting on my couch, in front of my Toshiba, watching the Late Late show with Craig Fergusen on the DVR out of the side of my eye laughing at Geoff Peterson, where I AM comfortable, so the social interactions are easier. Maybe it’s because  a lot of the discussions are in text, where I’ve always found it easy to express myself, or maybe it’s because I’ve warmed up to virtual worlds, having had plenty of time to experience these things, from as far back as the predecessor to Active Worlds, World’s Chat, or even beta tested There, I miss There .  Maybe all these things are right, maybe none of them are, maybe it’s a deeper psychological thing that I won’t be able to figure out.

Maybe, I should just shut up and enjoy it.